Studio: Centaur Films
Directed by: Chip Daniels
Year of Production / Release: 1998
Country of Production: U.S.A.
Chris Anthony
Paul Carrigan
Will Clark
Sam Crockett
Johnny Hanson
Alex Kincaid
Kyle Reardon
J.T. Sloan
Were it not for the strict usage of condoms, this Centaur Films porn might easily be confused with dozens – nay, hundreds – of other similiar dick flicks produced during the gloriously cheesy 1980s.
All the tell-tale indicators of first-time-behind-the-camera porn direction are evident: some amateurish handheld camerawork (with occasional flashes of an unseen photographer’s clicking camera); hokey editing wipes that look as though they were generated by a Fisher-Price video mixer; vomitous pop/jazz porno muzak; preposterous dialogue and laughable “acting”.
There’s a tenuous plot line: a cute young fireman recruit (Will Clark) has first-day doubts about pursuing his life-long dream to be a hoser like his dad.
He enjoys sucking cock, you see, and he’s afraid he’ll be “found out” by the other men. But the sexual hazing and severe cock-abuse in store for the fresh rookie ensure that he’ll fit right in with his fellow muscle-bound horn-dog teammates.
The “Chief” (Sam Crockett) and one of the veteran firemen get things going with a suck and rim and finger and fuck session on the chief’s desk. Highlights include an extreme close-up of the subordinate’s puckering, tongue-glazed rosebud and, later, by the Chief’s nut sack swinging heavily back and forth, banging against the bottom’s raised tail bone.
Meanwhile, the nervous new guy is still at home in the shower, after which his ride shows up and offers to screw him to ease his anxiety. Some 69ing ensues, then some fingering, then some proper fucking, but the hairless newbie doesn’t come off until his buddy forces a frightfully wide dildo into his bum.
Once at the firehouse, the new guy is immediately abused by two big-dicked hunks who’ve just returned from a nasty brush fire – in fact, they’re still smeared with ash and soot as they pounce on him. This so-called “3-alarm fire” isn’t quite an inferno, but it packs the most heat so far.
As the saying goes, they’ve saved the best for last. Finally, we meet a sizzling-hot “straight” fireman (Johnny Hanson) who’s frustrated that a relief crew won’t arrive soon enough for him to visit his “girlfriend” and have her polish his huge cock. Naturally, his cock-thirsty buddy (J.T. Sloan) offers to do it instead, and the “straight” guy shoves his thick, veiny jawbreaker into his buddy’s ready mouth. All of this takes place outdoors, under the blazing sun.
After creaming a thick load on the kneeling guy’s face, “Mister Straight” pokes a finger into the guy’s pulsating hole… then two fingers… three… and then four fingers all the way in. I braced for some fisting action, but instead, Hanson straps on a condom and wedges his fat cock tightly into Sloan’s smooth arse. Hanson’s cock is so big we’re treated to the extended illusion that he’s barebacking Sloan because the latex remains mostly obscured between the bottom’s firm cheeks. Apparently, verbal abuse is a turn-on for the bottom, because he squirts three juicy loads in this scene – it’s a hot finale to an otherwise tepid effort.
Though the studs on display in Hot Firemen do indeed live up to the film’s boastful title, the action is occasionally lukewarm, further chilled by distractingly chintzy production values.
-Beef Stroganoff
