Studio: Clair Productions / All Worlds
Directed by:
Year of Production / Release: 2002
Country of Production: Hungary
Gergo (Sergio Foster)
Kober
Zsolt (Jack Laurel)
Andras (Tony Magera)
Mozes (Rob Nelson)
Tamas (Daniel Paxton)
Erno (Rick Perry)
Robert
Gabor (Ken Spencer)
aka: KASERNEN-FICKS
aka: SOLDIER BEHAVING BADLY
When this appeared on my to-be-reviewed-pile I panicked for a moment. Oh my God I though – a filthy version of Blue’s Clues? Alas it’s not, but as soon as I laid eyes on coverstud Zsolt I forgot all about that annoying Nickelodeon animated piece of crap.
It’s another East European Army fuckflick, but before you raise your eyes skywards and click the close icon, let me tell you that it’s a Clair Production, and they can be pretty hair-raisingly good. Expect the familiar faces and foreskins in this barrack bangathon that’ll have you wishing if you were posted near these guys, you’d want to be all that you could be. too! Don’t expect just a few good men here; we have nine of them in five delectable vignettes.
If you’ll excuse the opening, which is downright cheesy and cheap (as for the set: let’s not go there), you can unzip your fly and watch as muscular Andras snoozes in the slammer, which I’m guessing is a military prison. I once heard that you could tell if a man was innocent by locking him in a cell for the night. If he’s still awake at dawn he’s probably done nothing wrong. I guess Andras has been charged with crimes against “body adornment” because one of his artistic interpretations (a tattoo of a fair maiden, no less) looks way too much like Wonder Woman.
Along comes older guard Robert, who finds Sleeping Beauty irresistible; maybe he’s a Lynda Carter fan. He beats his uncut meat before venturing into the cell and stripping, revealing a fine, slightly hairy body that sure gets the sleep out of Andras’s eyes! He dives straight down and swallows Robert’s tool, like it’s the last meal of a condemned man. Slurping like crazy, the close-ups are clear enough to see the drool running down his shaft and balls (oh, and the shadow of the camera, but that’s just picky). Romantic kisses follow, and then Robert reciprocates the oral attention in a sixty-nine that sends shivers down their erotically charged spines.
Robert can no longer resist and gives the prisoner an intense butt-fucking session, Andras’ cock rock-hard throughout the escalating power-pounding. The pleasure-pinnacle reached, Andras bursts forth his pearly love-lotion before Robert decides to baptize his new love with his own brand of Holy Water! Sensibly, Andras keeps his eyelids closed as it spatters his face, because if you’ve ever had that stuff in your eyes you’ll know that it stings like a fucker for days and puts the “number one passion killer” in Number One Passion Killer!
The next scene sees Mozes tossing his meat on the can whilst flicking through girlie mags. Kober saunters by and Mozes gets the Devil Inside, and the two eyeball each other’s rapidly engorging cocks before Mozes strips naked, enticing his buddy to do the same. The green light given, these two french kiss before Mozes bends over the sink and presents his ass, which Kober instantly plunges his prick into. Mozes of the parting cheeks!!! (Sorry, but there’s no way I could not not say that at this point.) A doggy style ramming sees Mozes spill his seed, but still hungry, hits the floor and the athletic Kober pierces his ring once again, working his way to his own orgasm, that covers Mozes’ well-used hairy buns with sticky white love-goo.
OK, prepare for excitement and annoyance next. I’ll explain the annoyance to get it out the way. The threesome that follows, featuring Privates Zsolt and Gergo, plus their commanding officer Gabor are so strikingly familiar you’ll be thinking; “Oh, it’s him. He was in that other film, with that guy who was in that other film with that other guy.” And this will put you off the best scene in the entire video. Needless to say, yes, you have seen all three before, under different names. Gabor is also known as Zsabo and Ken Spencer whilst tattooed Gergo sometimes works under the Sergio Foster moniker. And as for Zsolt…jeez, you got a week? I swear, I’m getting fed up with this “one name for one studio, one name for another” nonsense. OK, rant over. Sit back and relax for a moment, because you’ll be on the edge of your seat shortly…
Officer Gabor decides he doesn’t want his underlings working on anything other than his donkey dong, so when he unbuckles in front of the gorgeous Zsolt he’s thankful they have the same idea. No one has ever looked more delicious than Zsolt sucking dick, and the duo turn Gergo on so much he strips naked and joins them to make a torrid trio. Zsolt stays low and devotes himself to these two beautiful examples of cockdom, getting each blistering hot with his hungry, welcoming mouth and lizard like tongue.
Gergo is first to take him anally, riding him roughly against a chair as the orally fixated Zsolt doesn’t want to stop inhaling Gabor’s meat – neither would you! This thing is an uncut masterpiece, massive, long and chunky. When it finally snakes its way up Zsolt’s back passage it’s done slowly, lest it rupture the poor guy. A wonderful fuck later and Gabor helps the bottom boy reach orgasm with a helpful suck-session before Gergo follows suit. Stand well back though, and watch in awe as Gabor nearly shoots across the entire length of the room! So ends a fabulous inferno of a scene that will remain in your mind long after the embers have died away.
Muscular Erno and slim Tamas are up next, as they drive their jeep into the garage. They pop the hood and Erno pokes about in its innards, before realizing he’d rather be poking about in Tamas’ innards instead. They tongue passionately before each takes their time working on the other’s immense uncut beefsticks before boyish Tamas repays a great blow-ob by offering himself to his buddy. He moans loudly as Erno rides with a ferocity not normally witnessed during peacetime. I hope the jeep’s suspension could take it.
Take a breather as night falls. Andras is out of Chokey and back in the barracks. I guess he plea-bargained and was ordered to seduce Zsolt and Gergo, whose intentions of a good night’s sleep disappear when they see his erection. Horny Zsolt is first to respond – his own dick instantly sprouts wood and forces himself straight up Andras’ tight cazzy. Knowing a good thing when he sees it, Gergo joins in, creating a spitroast of such intense electricity your TV screen will crackle and flicker.
Having thoroughly demolished Andras’ hole, Zsolt gives up his own to continue the excitement, Andras plunging all the way in, causing Zsolt to scream with pleasure. The only way to silence this army pig is by sticking Gergo’s meat all the way down his throat. Gergo has seconds with Zsolt, stabbing his hole with a frenzied series of thrusts at hummingbird speed. (The sparks could start fires!) Andras watches from the sidelines but soon straddles the tattooed top stud, bouncing away in sheer joy before preparing himself for the two buddies’ spooge that covers his pecs with cream.
And so ends ninety minutes of joy, only ever-so-slightly spoiled by a few cheapo moments. But luckily for us, what started off as a bad Jan Osten movie with no money and no subtitles eventually became a half decent butterfly in the Csaba Borbely mode.
WATCH IT NOW: AEBN SMUTJUNKIES THEATER